From massages to manicures, and from haircuts to handjobs, whatever you want someone else to do to your body, it can be found in Southeast Asia for cheaper than you’d think.
Before I started my trip to Southeast Asia, I didn’t have time to get a haircut from my usual guy in DC. Since I had a few days in Saigon after arrival with no concrete plans, I decided to just get a haircut there. I went online and found pictures of what I wanted, since I expected language to be a barrier, I found a salon that was well reviewed, and I set out on foot. Getting to Brother’s Salon was a bit of a challenge in itself. When I got to the building, I double and triple checked the address on my phone against the number on the door. I was at the right place, but it was a women’s clothing store. I asked a saleswoman about the salon and she told me to go through the store, out the back door and up the stairs. So out the back door I went, into a dark alley. Considering it was around noon on a very sunny day, the dark alley felt a little ominous. I went up the stairs and found an art gallery. I asked them where the salon was, and they told me to go through the gallery, and the salon was through the back door, which it was. I was greeted, shown to a seat, and given a short menu of their services. After I selected the Express Cut, I was shown to one of the barber’s chairs, where I showed the stylist what I wanted done. While he looked at the pictures on my phone and compared them to the tangle of hair that was currently on top of my head, the receptionist brought me a complimentary beer. No beer ever tastes as good as a free beer when you’re hot. I then spent the next 90 minutes getting my hair cut, including two separate shampooings, one at the beginning of the cut and one halfway through. At one point, the stylist was cutting my hair while his assistant brushed away any hair that fell on my barber’s cape. Snip. Brush. Snip. Brush. When all was completed, I had a great haircut, and the final bill was just under $15.
Next, it was time for a massage. Thai massages are completely different from Swedish massages, which is something I didn’t realize until we’d already started. Part stretching and part physical therapy, Thai massage is not relaxing. At all. I think I left with more tension than I had when I arrived. But within an hour or two of leaving, when the added stress from receiving the massage had dissipated, I realized that I actually did feel better. I’m sure that if you got a Thai massage every day for a week, you’d feel like a million bucks. So if you’re exercising hard or training for an athletic competition, I could see regular Thai massages being very helpful. And, since you can easily get a Thai massage for $10/ hour, there’s little reason not to over-indulge, regardless of your athletic efforts (or lack thereof).
Now that I’d gotten a good haircut and tried a massage, I figured that I might as well get a manicure. Heck, why not get a pedicure while I’m at it? With that thought, I found myself walking into the Fame nail salon in Saigon. As I opened the door, a dozen women’s heads turned towards me, and more than a few gave me strange looks. One brave employee (manicurist? pedicurist? nail salon technician?) approached me, and I told her that I wanted a manicure and a pedicure. I actually asked for a “mani/ pedi” to make it sound like I knew what I was doing. She smiled and nodded with no other visible reaction. I took that to mean that I wasn’t the first man to walk into their store, which I found reassuring. After leading me to a seat and helping me figure out what I was supposed to be doing (feet go here, hands go there), in short order, I had one woman working on my feet and another on my hands.
I know that some women like to get manicures and pedicures not only to make their hands and feet look nice, but also as a relaxing and enjoyable bit of self-pampering. While my hands and feet certainly looked better than they would have if I’d cut my nails myself, I can’t say I felt pampered. Maybe Fame was a no-frills salon, or maybe I wasn’t doing it right. It just felt odd to have someone else cut my nails while I sat there like a lump. But, 45 minutes later, I was presented with a bill for $7, so it wasn’t an expensive experiment. And, at that price, I might be tempted to do it again, especially if I’ve been walking around all day and just want to hang out in the air conditioning for a little while. Maybe I’d have a different opinion if they’d offered me a glass of whiskey to enjoy while I got my nails done.
At this point, I have to say that I did not indulge in all of the services that I found around Southeast Asia. There is much that I will do for a good story, including, apparently, getting a pedicure, but even I have limits, and a rub n’ tug is beyond what I will do (or have done) for a story.
Even when you’re expecting to hear it, when you walk past a woman trying to get passers-by into a massage parlor and she whispers “happy ending?” into your ear as you walk by, it’ll still catch you off guard the first time you hear it. A double-take is pretty much inevitable. But, after the tenth time or so, you get used to hearing it, and you keep walking. I read an article recently that said that there were two types of women who worked at massage parlors: women would will offer you a happy ending, and women who know how to give a good massage. What you pay for is up to you. Personally, I’ll choose the massage every time. After all, I can’t rub my own back.
