As I left the Wat Pho temple in Bangkok, I found a line of tuk tuks waiting, which is fairly common at most of the tourist destinations around Bangkok. A Thai man standing outside of the exit stepped in front of me as I left the temple and invited me to see some sights. He pointed to a map that was set up on a stand next to him and listed several stops, including the Lucky Buddha, Fashion Center, Standing Buddha, and the Marble Temple. He quoted me a price of 100฿ (about $3.18) for the tour, for the driver to take me to each stop, wait for me, and then go to the next stop. Since I paid 50฿ just to get to the temple, this seemed like a good deal. As I tried to double check my math to confirm that 100฿ was really less than $4, he sensed my hesitation and said, “For you, I make good deal. 50฿ for all. Tuk tuk take you, wait, and go next place. 50฿.” He poked at the stops on the map, emphasizing that I’d get to see it all. That seemed like a great deal, since it was around $1.50 for a ride to several tourist stops. So I agreed, while a little voice in my head wondered aloud what the scam was and whether I’d end up losing a kidney. (Spoiler: I did not lose a kidney) However, I eventually figured out what the angle was.
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One of the courtyards at Wat Pho with stone giants guarding the doorway. | |
| Rows of Buddha statues were found all around the courtyards at Wat Pho. |  |
After the first stop at the Lucky Buddha (no good photos, and I don’t know why he’s considered ‘lucky’ since the statue has no head), we went to the Fashion Center, where you could get custom suits made for a low price. Even when I had a job, I didn’t wear suits to work, and now I’m unemployed, homeless, and living out of a backpack, making a suit about as necessary as scuba gear in the desert. Trying to explain all of that isn’t quite clear when you’re talking to a native English speaker, let alone a tuk tuk driver whose English is limited. I simply said that I don’t need any suits. He insisted that I should go and look. “No buy!” he kept repeating. “You go, 10 minute, I wait. No buy.” It seemed like a waste of time, but he was insistent, so I went. After a short sales pitch, the salesman hit me with the price. A custom made suit, two custom shirts, and two ties for $300. That’s a really good price, even if you don’t wear suits. I briefly considered it, but once I remembered that I’m living out of a backpack, it made the decision easier. I eventually convinced the salesman that I wasn’t interested. I left without buying anything, and found my driver waiting for me outside. He smiled at me and said, “no buy?” I said no, he laughed, and we were on our way. Stop #3 was the Standing Buddha, and I got out and took some photos. Stop #4 was another suit store. I insisted that I didn’t need to go, but he pushed. The language barrier being what it was, I relented. Again, great suits, beautiful workmanship, fantastic prices. But I don’t have a need for a suit, nor do I want to carry a suit in my backpack through southeast Asia. As I left, my driver greeted me with a grin and “no buy?” and we were off. We drove past the Marble Temple, which appeared to be closed, then we went to a tourist information desk. It was on our way to this stop that I finally got enough information from him to piece together what was going on with the extra stops.
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Standing Buddha, covered in scaffolding. I couldn’t see it worth a darn, but it’s really tall. | |
| Yours truly at the Reclining Buddha at Wat Pho. If laying on your @$$ can make you enlightened, I must be really close to universal wisdom, ‘cuz I’ve got the lounging thing down pat. |  |
At each of the suit stops and at the tourist information desk, the driver was compensated for bringing people. If I went in and stayed for 10 minutes or so and made it look like I was interested, he got a voucher for 5 liters of gas, which was worth about 200฿ ($7). So while my fare was only 50฿, he ended up getting another 600฿ in fuel credit for taking me to these places. While it was a waste of time for me, I didn’t want to get into an argument with the driver, since he was anticipating and expecting this revenue. And I certainly wasn’t going to pay him an extra 200฿ to skip a stop. Since I had nothing else to do, I went to the tourist information desk and chatted with the lady about things to do in Chiang Mai for a few minutes. Once I was satisfied that I had spent enough time for him to get his voucher, I left. We did our usual “No buy? “No!” greeting when I left the store, and he dropped me off at the agreed upon dropoff point. Sure enough, the fare was only 50฿
| It’s kind of cool to see and hear monks praying. |  |
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Small Emerald Buddha. This is a replica of the one large found at the Grand Palace. |
I’ve heard of variations of this scam, such as drivers recommending bars or hotels to you that they get kickbacks from, but this was the first time I’d heard of this variation. I spent 45 minutes of my day, and he got an extra $20 out of the deal that didn’t come out of my pocket. And I got to check out some really nice suits. If the shipping cost is reasonable, I might actually get one. I may be unemployed and homeless, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t look sharp. Admit it, wouldn’t you toss some change to a panhandler in a sharp suit? As they say, every girl’s crazy about a sharp dressed man.
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Also from Wat Pho, but I really liked this statue. I’m not 100% sure that I was supposed to be in this room, actually. There were two doors to enter, one had a No Entry sign, so I used the other door. There was a cat in the room who kept meowing at me until I left, though. |
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